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Friday, March 13, 2009
Are You Communicating With Your Companion?
My company, Yoga To Have Fun, is all about using yoga exercises to open up communication and strengthen relationships within the family. I started this company based on the principle that after yoga, people are more centered and focused, allowing them to better communicate, listen, and support each other.
Most often when we say family, it implies children, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, and cousins. But, let's not forget about a big part of the family - the husband and wife. Hello?! Without them, none of us would be here!
In his book, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, Robert Putnam found that married partners engaged in an average of less than an hour a week of conversation. Now, who really needs the yoga more - The child who has trouble focusing or the silent adults? Obviously, it's a stiff competition, and they both do!
At the same time, one of the top theories that I learned at business school was that the strategy and tone of any organization starts at the top. The CEO sets the attitude and approach towards business for their employees and each of the products. We see this at Southwest Airlines, where Herb Kelleher was continually leading casual business meetings and cracking jokes. Thus, we have Southwest flight attendants wearing khakis, teasing each other over the intercom, and the clients having a fun, while valuable experience.
So, if we have couples who don't talk to each other, and don't pay attention to each other, what are the children to think, and more importantly, what is the state of our future?
The answer? Yoga! As Beth Lapides put it recently in her article in the March issue of LAYoga, "the couple that bends together, mends together". Why not? If we dedicate time to center ourselves, and then share that focus and attention with our partner for life, who knows amazing stuff can come out of that?
I personally have used yoga as my relationship "band-aid" many times. When I see a disagreement or issue arising with a partner, I often say "let's go to yoga first before we discuss this". It's like fairy dust for potential arguments. The discussion always goes a lot smoother than it would have if we had started with the history of our day and demands still right in front of us.
In addition, I also often get teased for having first dates in the yoga studio. Of course I would! If I want to get to know someone, I want to get to know the true him. This has a much better chance of coming out after an hour of centering and self-awareness. Catching someone after sitting in traffic or running from the office is rarely going to bring out the best (a.k.a. your true self) in anyone.
As you walk away today from your computer, Blackberry, or iPhone, see if there is an opportunity to put my theory to the test. Set up a time to take a yoga class with your true companion and see if the communication, and thus, the relationship, is different before and after class. Look at what types of conversations come up during that post-yoga bliss. If you find something, then let me know. As I mentioned, with yoga, we can change our futures. It is just a matter of finding an hour.
Posted by Ingrid on 03/13 at 12:23 PM
(1) Comments •
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COMMENTS
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Super inspirational Ingrid!
And by the way—what a nice description of me and lee in your newsletter. Yoga is our juice. We love it! I cannot speak highly enough about how yoga helps couples communicate, connect and really understand one another in an incredibly deep way. It’s a beautiful thing.
Posted by on 03/13 at 03:36 PM
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