|| Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I want to know if I am the only one who gets a severe case of Separation Anxiety every time a big group endeavor ends. This happened to me recently after I came back from a yoga retreat with 30 amazing souls in Capri, Italy who flew in from LA and other places around the U.S. I assisted Tom Morley from Maha Yoga, and when I came home to my normal life, I could not get my mind off the great week. I felt a total loss and it made me wonder why does this happen and what do we do about it? Does this happen to you?
Theory 1: Is it the sudden loss of energy and emotional fulfillment all around us?
During these 7 days, I had positive energy all around and my most important needs being fulfilled me at every waking moment. Not only did I love teaching and practicing yoga for multiple hours a day, but I felt emotionally satisfied with all the relationships and friendships I made. I am also aware of my personal need to feel useful, and with 30 people asking me for details on the trip at every turn, I felt valued. Coming home, not only did the amount of yoga have to change, but the relationships changed as well, and I certainly didn't feel useful 110% of the time.
Theory 2: Is it what we are going back to?
Ok, my reality coming home was not all diamonds and pearls. After gaining perspective of my reality while being away, I knew I had to end the relationship with the boyfriend I had at home. Although it was my choice, an end is always sad, and I still mourned it as a loss. At the same time, my project tasks at work were not the most exciting, and there was no way to distract myself with an alternate interesting subject. Lastly, my parents and family were far away, where I wouldn't have their physical support for another few weeks. I tried to see the bigger picture and that I love my life in Zurich, but all I could feel was a dark cloud over my head with each step. Yuck.
So, what do we do? Do we just accept reality and get back to the daily routine? Do we bury our head in the sand and just move forward?
Or do we acknowledge what changes may have occurred in us during that special week and make a change to preserve them?
As for me, I have taken on a combination of both:
i. Moved forward on my dreams: I put out Requests for Proposals to three film production teams for future dvds! I know I want to be in the yoga industry, and I have new energy to start a new project, as are my distributors. This is very exciting!
ii. Engaged myself in daily tasks that were interesting and fulfilled some of my basic needs (a.k.a. ways to feel useful): I looked around for assignments that could get me going again, and worked until I started to see good results. I also chose good colleagues to work with and this too has greatly kept my interest.
iii. Embraced what I love here - beautiful scenery, good chocolate and great swiss cheese. With each material item, I used it as a symbol to take a moment to feel grateful for what I do have here, and not to dwell on what I was missing.
iv. Made plans to see my family later this summer: I will be in Prague in late August to see my Mom's side of the family, and in New York in Sept to see my Dad and the other von Burgs. Hugs on their way!
v. I have not gone back to the relationship with my ex-boyfriend, purely looking for companionship. I know I did the right thing. Phew!
vi. As for the emotional fulfillment of those special souls on my retreat, I have made a short video of the pictures we took, and every time I play it, I feel happy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahXpuAckylg To see those smiling faces brings back the feelings of pure pleasure, and I look forward to seeing them again for another great endeavor. I know there will be another.
Posted by Ingrid on 08/11 at 08:18 AM
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