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  Ingrid's Blog


  Sunday, February 15, 2015
Exploring A New Marriage: Give And Take
My husband is so excited to get his new iPhone6 in a few weeks. For Valentine's Day, I got him the armband accessory for his upcoming new gadget as well as a new cover. As we get used to our new marriage, I see this as a symbol of what it means to negotiate.

My husband used to love getting the newest items immediately after they came out. This year, I convinced him to wait a few months until his contract was up for renewal with our cell phone provider so that he would get a deep discount on the phone. We discussed it a few times and he slowly agreed.

By buying him the accessory, my intention is to show him how excited for him I am and how appreciative that he agreed to wait.

As I could have guessed, marriage is very much a give and take. In my previous relationships, I saw this too, but being married sets a much more serious and committed tone to the discussion. In the past, I always knew there was a way out, but here there is not. Pressure can result from knowing that we will need to find an agreement somehow.

What I have found is that communicating clearly is so important. For us both, we now need to consider each other, as well as our future family, while before we did not need to consider much more than ourselves.
Fortunately, I feel like I chose someone with whom I am comfortable discussing issues. For me, this was the most important “quality” of someone that I was looking to marry. And best of all, I like gadgets too.

Posted by Ingrid on 02/15 at 10:41 PM
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  Sunday, February 15, 2015
My husband is very much into emergency survival planning. This means that he spends his free time preparing the following and that we have the below items on hand at all times:

• Enough food for two people and a dog for a month
• Canned goods or dehydrated food with expiration dates at least two to three years in the future
• Five gallons of water
• Five gallons of rice
• An alternate meeting place five minutes from our house in the chance we can’t get home
• An extra pair of sneakers in our car in the chance that we have to walk home

I am grateful to my husband for preparing us despite my often teasing him about his “hobby”. Before I met him, I never knew there were so many people creating products, solutions, and preparations for “what if”.
This made me think some about what is needed mentally if something were to happen such as an earthquake or riot. In my opinion, preparing to react is just as important to ensure we can put all the goods to use. For me, I put this on my list:

• Be in the now

I realize it is a single thing, but I feel it is the one thing necessary. I foresee many people forecasting what could happen or stress because of so many unknowns. We could run a million scenarios in our head, but it’s important to stay present.

At the same time, if people around you start to panic, it’s important not to get pulled in that direction. It will be important to stay up-to-date on the media, but not to let it overwhelm us.
Since all of his friends also are aware of his pastime, if something ever happens, I am sure our house will become a headquarters for many people who haven’t planned. My plan is to help them stay here and be present. If you find yourself in an emergency situation, I hope you can find a way to stay calm too.

Posted by Ingrid on 02/15 at 10:36 PM
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